Saturday, July 26, 2008

A sunny day in Prague

The sun came out today. So did millions of people, animals and insects. There was even a sub species of the human race that also showed up - I like to call them the 'Orange Ones'. I wonder to myself about the number of hours, days and minutes they spend spray painting themselves with fake tan lotion or even worse, falling off to sleep in the tanning machine to achieve such a bright tone. Then I thought - 'Nah. It's not worth the trouble.'

Sigh. It was so nice to have the sun out. After two weeks of rain and chill, I finally felt human again, the blood in my veins de-coagulating and bringing motion to my reptilian body. While it may be an exaggeration of the truth, I am truly a cold blooded creature and in the cold, I am completely useless. Furthermore, I felt extra blessed because as I was sitting at the very top of a park in Zizkov with a couple of friends drinking beer and iced tea, we watched three great big holes in the sky rain down on the centre of Prague. It was quite a sight - and a splendid view I might add. From where we were sitting, the sun basked us in its glorious warmth and kept the stray rain drops away while we watched these great big cylinders of rain target various areas of the city.

I finally ended my day by spending a couple of hours in a pub in Smichov, watching the people around me demolish great big chunks of pork on spikes, reluctantly allowing myself to become infused with cigarette smoke from every single person around me before making my way home on the tram. While on the tram, I even managed to help out a fellow tourist with directions. He needed to go downtown and wished to know if he was on the right tram. With big blue eyes, a gentle and friendly face, how could I not resist helping him out?

I told him he was on the wrong tram. I told him it was going in the opposite direction. I told him he had to catch another tram. He told me that he would ask somebody else. That somebody else said only one word to him - it was 'No.' Just that one word to his long question. No more and no less. He got off the tram immediately after that answer which brought me to wonder, 'How on earth was that somebody's answer more helpful than mine that he decided to jump off the tram straightaway?' I at least, would have told him which tram number to catch back into the city.

Hmmm. Some people I will never understand. Let me back this statement.

It is now 2.07am in the morning. For the third night in a row, my neighbour is burning something in his or her yard. The crackling and orange light is proof of that and I don't see smoke coming out of the chimneys. Plus I hear my neighbour walking around his yard constantly while the fire is burning. Now, unless I'm mistaken, the only people who used to light fires at this unearthly hour and tend to it, were witches.

Hmmmm. Now that's food for thought. Just who exactly, are my neighbours?

Thursday, July 24, 2008

A Beautiful Wet Day

It was raining lightly outside. The light pattering of rain on the leaves of the walnut tree outside my kitchen window and elsewhere in the garden encouraged me to take a look at the world beyond my small, chilly flat and breathe in the cool air. However, as I stood by my kitchen window, the smell of damp dog-shit hit me instead. The irony, is that I have no dog and my yard is sealed by a solid wooden fence and black painted iron gates.

I quickly scoured the blackberry bushes and salad garden as well as my beautifully, well kept lawn and saw no sign of those evil, fat lumpy turds that laced the outside air with poison. It figures. It could only be one of those little, pint-sized sorry excuses of a dog that could shit to its heart’s content and camouflage it amongst my perfect two-inch mowed lawn grass. How I hate those little bastards but even more so, their owners who allow them to run free without feeling obliged to scoop up their little shit’s shit. Just because their little precious bastard has shit the size of mini pretzels, doesn’t mean chocolate is born and the world is a better smell for it.

Seriously! So much for me wanting to describe the beauty of the green wet world outside my kitchen window here in Prague. The moment has been ruined. Little fcuker!!!!